Well, this time the post will be written in English and then I will google translate myself to Portuguese… boring… anyway…
So, quoting my dear ted Mosby “Children, this is the story of how I spent my 2013 New year’s eve”.
That day, 31 st of December 2012 was supposed to be a nice day! We ( me, mom and aunt) wew supposed to do a road trip through Spain! Yayy!! The first issue is – Who had this amazing idea? – and the theories are:
– Paulo, my cousin and aunt Sophia’s son and my father’s boss. He enthusiastically said to my mom: ” Oh you MUST hire a car and drive in Europe! You can drive over 200 km/h and you can stop in several cities, it is awesome!” – well he must have said something like this
-My mom calls me and says: ” YOU MUST HIRE A CAR!! HAVE YOU DONE THAT?? WHY DIDNT YOU! PAULO TOLD US TO DO IT! HE KNOWS BETTER!” And this repeated several times.
– What did I do? I hired the goddam car… otherwise I would have to listen to my mom blaming me for I don’t know what that was caused directly because I didn’t hire the car. Did I think much about hiring it? Nop, did I think why I was hiring a car? Nop… I just followed her wishes, because,.. well I love my life…
So, kids, this is the beggining of the state of terror that was my trip.
Oh and all the fines and money that we would have to spend if we damaged the car only a little? Nice! Mom actually cursed me with Crucio when she discovered this.
And did I mention that we had no idea how to actually use the car? Like opening the rear door or why the hell does it tell you that outside is 4 degrees celsius?(that made me read the manal) and other little details…
I never realised until the 30th of December ( when I told my mom about the minor details of hiring the car):
– One does not simply drive from Barcelona to Madrid in one go…just because it is over 700 km
-My mom hates driving for long distances for a long time especially in an unknwon road at night, just because she falls asleep… and because it is freaking dangerous…no big deal…
– And as she could not fall asleep I couldnt either.
After some yelling and she almost strangling me for that I traced a route which would stop in Zaragoza, because as mom said the whole purpose of hiring a car was stopping in the small cities in between… ( I just got to know that on the 30th, so… a bit late for that).
There was only one problem, I mean…. another problem… our GPS. As soon as I realised that things would be kind of difficult I called the car company and corrected some dates (yeah I had screwed up with the dates too) and asked for the GPS, of course they charged over 12 pounds for that, but no biggie, right? Great, so we had a GPS! Nop, partly wrong, we had a GPS, but it DID NOT WORK!!!!!!!! And we became aware of that just before we started the over 7 hour trip.
No problem, guys, my phone has a GPS! And we can trust it! Great!
Until the battery died in Zaragoza, the middle of the route.
So in the city I sat by a vending machine and charged my phone for 15 minutes (paid parking lot).
And we resumed the trip. However the drama level was increased at this moment due to the fact that I had to save the battery as much as I could. Also, in order of not dying we had to keep mom awake… and I asked Auntie to tell the story of her life, but even that was not longer than the 100 hour road trip.
Anyway… after going through what we are pretty sure that was snow, a fog so dense we could not see anything in front of us, rain and beautiful views, also after crossing the Greenwich meridiane… the gas was getting lower than it was supposed to… and we had to fill it.
Great, just stop in one of the thousands of gas stations that we saw passing by early =D
There were none. Ok We found one! =) It is closed. Next one. Keep on driving, it is too scary!
Ok this one looks fine.
Let me tell you something… in Brazil we stop the car in the gas station and someone comes to ask you if it is alcohol or gas and then you give them the keys and a fifty and ask them to fill with alcohol.
Well, things are kind of different here and I had watched enough american movies to be quick to notice that. I would have to fill in with gas. That was not easy. I have to admit. I went to the cashier and asked him for help (even though he spoke spanish this was not an easy task), he gave me directions and there I went full of hope. Oh yeah,… first I heard the radio and it sounded like a match and asked: “Who is playing?” He answered: “There is no game today, it is New Year’s eve…this is the retrospective” That depressed me…
Anyway, I was trying to figure out the gas machine and he came to help me (Thank God for that) He asked me: ” What kind of gas is it?” And I laughed hard,… because I had no idea.. dude, it is not even my car! But it was written in the car, so he solved it… however I still had to fill in. I am so proud of myself! Mommy even got out of the car TO TAKE A PICTURE OF ME!! But I reckon it will take sometime for me to get this photo so,.. just believe me, ok?
Continuing our way we were finally arriving in Madrid, mommy offered the car for me to drive because she was almost falling asleep and I refused because I thought I was worse, The battery on my phone was lower than ever, but everything was ok! =D
Now it obviously was raining, we got ALL THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS RED, but we finally arrived. Oh wait… there is a police car blocking the entrance of the street. Ok we can try the other side of the road, but if the GPS dies we die… anyway… On the other side there was A FIRE TRUCK!! There was a fire in front of the hostel!! WHY NOT???
We found a parking lot, it was a quarter for midnight, and the only reason that I fucked up most of the trip plannings is because I wanted to spend new year’s in Madrid.We said to our aunt that we were going and she said: ” Well, I am staying because I dont wanna go out in the rain.” I was not going to leave an 68 year old lady, in a hired car ( if anything happened to the car we would have to sell our kidneys to pay for the fine), in a underground parking lot in new year’s eve when the city is full of drunk people… I said “No, mom, turn around, let’s try to get into the hostel”.
So when we got near the street the police car was still there. I got out in the rain and asked him if he could allow us to get into the hostel, but he could not. So I took the bags and the aunt and we walked to the hostel. I left her and the bags there. (At this point there were lots of brazilians leaving the hostel to go to the Plaza Mayor to celebrate). When I got back to the car, my mom looked at me and said: ” Happy new year”.
Well I wept.
We found another parking lot nearby. We got out, went to the Plaza del Sol. But there were no fireworks because of the rain.
So we decided to go home and sleep.
Guys, please don’t kill yourselves after this cheerful story. The point is exacty what I told my mom when she was cursing and trying to kill me for hiring the car and driving in the middle of nowhere in the snow at night:
” I bet NO ONE you know will have a better and funnier story than you! Really… ‘Oh you bought a plane ticket and got in the right place in the right time? That is good, now… let me tell you about my road trip in Spain back in 2012…'”
In the end of the day it was a “once in a lifetime story” 😉
Feeling better about your New Year?